Sunday, February 11, 2007

this, this, & this

My mother, the one who insists on sending me photos of her standing beside snowbanks to prove Jesus does not answer prayers, suggests I try online dating, in full knowledge that Jesus also conjured up the Internet via Scientology in order to emasculate me.

She says why not try this, this & this in order to fix things, & I say, okay, I will try smoking clove cigarettes but I will not (I repeat) will not get a Lassie dog for companionship. Especially since the last Lassie dog I had caught rabies after attempting to lay with a really fat raccoon on our back deck. It is hard to love something that froths.

This is how I came to rely on quantum physics to fix my life.
Quanta--don't fail me now!


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8:50 PM  
Blogger yelsel said...

what happened to all the other goat contributers? you're the lone goatman. maybe your mom was right... you'd better get your ass to lavalife right now.

6:11 PM  
Blogger synth3tikitty said...


I know it sounds cheesy...but seriously, I met my boyfriend off there and he is the most fantabulously intellectually stimulating guy I've ever met...

Just gotta weed out the weirdos.



Have a nice day!

5:59 PM  
Blogger Ashleigh said...

hi. i found this piece of shit in my room...feel free to steal it and compress it and use it for whatever.

11:31 AM  

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